We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
