Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
