remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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