you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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