well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize