I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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