My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Randomize
