so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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