i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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