Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
