obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
