i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
