I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize