Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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