You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
