Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
