i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
