Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I came so hard my ears popped.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
