My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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