I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
