dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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