Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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