i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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