I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
