giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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