apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
