I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
