So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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