there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
