Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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