Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
