she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
he was CRYING into my vagina
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Randomize
