we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
