I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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