I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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