so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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