Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
