I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
