a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Randomize
