I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
