And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
