i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Randomize
