I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
