He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
