My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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