Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
