you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
