Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
