Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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