You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
