i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
