she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize