Just mADE A PArabola og urine
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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