Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
