the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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