is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
