I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
