I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
