why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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