I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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